Until Death do us part

UNTIL DEATH DO US PART...

There was a time when marriage was a commitment for life. Until death do us part, for richer or poorer and all those classic clichés. In present times with the divorce rate western countries continuing to escalate, it has become apparent to the majority of sporting fans that there remains just one position in all of sports that is now officially harder to lose or get out of than marriage.

Welcome to the South African national Protea test cricket side...

The Proteas side has for ages seemed set in stone. In most cases more former Protea players have left the side by retiring rather than being dropped. Don’t believe that?

Allan Donald, Shaun Pollock, Dave Richardson, Gary Kirsten, Makhaya Ntini are all examples of South African cricketers who announced their retirement before their final game for the national side. In fact we may never know whether these players would still be playing for the Proteas had they not retired, they clearly were not going to be dropped.

(Side Note: Hanse Cronje was never dropped. He was suspended and subsequently banned. Go ahead, look it up.)

The lack of authority in management and the rise in player power has led to players who are in the Protea line-up playing as if they know that no matter how poor their on-field or off-field performance, there is a better chance of them retiring as national players than there is of their being dropped from the national side. (Have you read Herschelle Gibbs' book or noted that Jacques Kallis played soon after a motor vehicle accident)

Case in point: AB de Villiers has refused to play wicketkeeper for the Proteas. Imagine that, a player saying that he won’t play where the manager or coach may want him to play. De Villiers made this statement with the confident knowledge that he would not be dropped from the national side.

In recent times, the only on-field success that Mark Boucher and Paul Harris have had is that they have played so poorly that it can be said with reasonable certainty that their mere presence in the Protea line-up has single handedly kept South Africa at number 2 in the world in international tests... Just to clarify, that is Number 2 as opposed to Number 1.

The ardent sporting fan may now be thinking that the reason why Protea players are hardly ever dropped from the line-up is that there are no alternative good players to replace the present incumbents. WRONG!!

South Africa have not one, but two wicketkeeper-batsmen who are far better batsmen than Mark Boucher and who could keep wicket just as good as Mark Boucher. Is Boucher really a better option than A.B. De Villiers or Morne Van Wyk?

Though South Africa are not the best spin bowling nation in the cricketing world, there a many bowlers of spin in the country that are both willing and able to bowl and bat better than the present incumbent Paul Harris... Also, Johan Botha, Tavir, Van der Merwe, Peterson can all... wait for it... wait for it... ready... actually spin a cricket ball. Why is Harris still in the team? Give us one good reason? One reason please...

I sense the silence.

After watching the third and final test match between South Africa and India, I changed the channel and caught a re-run of the first and best Mission Impossible movie. As I saw Tom Cruise/Ethan Hunt break into the impenetrable CIA computer room, I begin to if Ethan Hunt could break into the Protea side. If Ethan Hunt had the glove skills of Gilchrist, the batting prowess of Lara and the bowling skills of Warne, he just might be able to break into the impenetrable Protea test side and get an opportunity to prove himself.

Yes, he just might... if someone dropped himself and retired.